Martial Arts Humor - select material from:
http://www.muohio.edu (site is no longer online)

Impressing the judges At one of my first tournaments I was really pumped about sparring. Got into the ring, head judge said to begin, I charged in with a beautiful side kick to the head. Unfortunately I put a little too much into it and instead lifted my entire body off of the ground, landing clean on my left hip and sliding into my opponent, knocking us both into the head judge and knocking him over as well. Needless to say I got a stern warning about fighting under control.

REALLY impressing the judges In a pattern competition, ~2 years ago, I managed to punch myself 5 cm abowe my right eye. How this happened - well, It's not always easy to do an upward elbow strike when you're focused on something completly different :) Well, I managed to finish ..... Last!

Flexible guy. I remember once in practice a particularily lanky fellow managed to kick himself in the groin. I still haven't figureed out what happened, I was looked away for a second and then he was on the floor. I imagine that he threw a knee and his heel went a little high. I think he was more embarassed than anything else.

Next time read the instructions. This one reminds of a student in our dojo. He was a yellow or oragne belt (don't remember) he had pick up a 3-sectional staff somewhere and was trying to figure out how to swing it. Nobody in the dojo really knew how to use them very well so he was experimenting on his own in the middle of the dojo. As he was swinging it one section swung up and struck him in the back of the head, knocking him out. After we brought him back to consciousness and determined that he was ok we left. Not 10 minutes later there he was again, face flat on the floor. He had knocked himself out again with the staff. Twice, in less than 30 minutes. This time we took him to the hospital to check for a concussion, luckily he did not have one.

Moonlighting. I have one for you....During one class, Sensei called one of the senior students up to help demonstrate the next technique. Now this guy is known to be...shall we say miserly....so his gi was way past its prime and had shrunk until it was really too small for him. Sensei starts to demonstrate the technique which ended in a throw. I am so intent on the technique that at first I don't really notice anything except what Sensei is doing. But suddently, I realize that my husband who was sitting next to me is shaking so hard from laughter that he is about to fall over. I watched again and realized that the senior student's gi had slipped down on his hips so far that he was pretty much mooning us every time he was thrown. Pretty soon, the whole class was basically in tears from trying to hold in the laughing. I don't really know how Sensei kept a straight face! Anyway, needless to say, Sensei stongly recommended to him after class that he purchase a new gi.....

One of my classmates and I were doing kick drills and my partner managed to hit himself in the head with an outside crescent. I nearly fell to the ground, I laughed so hard! I still have no idea how he did it and I was standing right in front of him. Maybe he leaned forward a little too much from the waist and creamed himself upside the head. Too funny!

Working on elbow strikes on a heavy bag, I almost knocked myself out with the palm of my hand. The worst part wasn't the pain... it was explaining the busted lip to friends.